“There’s two people going through this”: Exploring the Impact of Cancer on Male Intimate Partners and Spouses
VictoriaSisson1
Dr
SimonDunne1,2✉
Email
1Dublin City UniversityDublinIreland
2School of PsychologyDublin City UniversityDublin 9GlasnevinIreland
Victoria Sisson1, Simon Dunne1*
1Dublin City University, Dublin, Ireland
*Correspondence to: Dr Simon Dunne, School of Psychology, Dublin City University, Glasnevin, Dublin 9, Ireland. E-mail: simon.dunne@dcu.ie
ABSTRACT
Purpose
Intimate partners and spouses of individuals with cancer often face unique challenges. However, the individual experiences of male intimate partners and spouses remain underexplored. As intimate relationships are among the most significant adult bonds, this study aimed to explore the perspectives of male intimate partners and spouses of individuals diagnosed with cancer in the past ten years.
Methods
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9 participants were recruited using purposive sampling. A qualitative design was utilised, with semi-structured interviews conducted both in-person and online. Interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed and analysed using thematic analysis.
Results
The first author identified six themes, relating to the impact of cancer on relationships, support dynamics, and coping: challenges during and beyond the diagnosis, complexities of communication for men, diverse support system experiences, experiences of the medical system, meaning making through advocacy and volunteering, and reshaping relationship dynamics.
Conclusions
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The findings highlight the profound emotional, social, and relational impact of cancer on male intimate spouses, with many assuming new responsibilities. Challenges in emotional communication and expression underscored the need for more tailored interventions and better signposted supports. Also, highlighting the need for healthcare services and cancer organisations to effectively integrate spouses into the cancer care process, ensuring accessible and gender-sensitive support.
Implications for Cancer Survivors:
Tailored psychological support for male partners and spouses of cancer patients will ensure they can provide optimal support to their loved one. Thus, this support may positively impact the cancer patient's trajectory as adequate support from their partner or spouse will enhance their quality of life.
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Acknowledgement
With thanks to all our participants for partaking in this study.
Keywords:
Cancer
Neoplasms
Psycho-oncology
Survivorship
Partners
Spouses
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FUNDING
This study was self-funded. No funding was received for conducting this study.
CONFLICTS OF INTEREST/COMPETING INTERESTS
The authors declare that they have no conflict of interest to report.
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INTRODUCTION
Cancer is a pervasive and life changing illness, affecting millions globally and posing immense challenges for healthcare systems, families, and individuals. As the leading cause of death worldwide, it accounts for over 20 million new cases and 9.7 million deaths in 2022, with projections estimating 35 million cases per year by 2050 [1]. It is estimated that about one in five individuals will develop cancer during their lifetime, with roughly one in nine men and one in twelve women dying from it [2]. In Ireland cancer accounted for 28% of all deaths in 2021, with over 44,000 cases diagnosed annually between 2020 and 2022 [3]. Cancer research has made great advancements which have led to significant improvements in early detection, treatment options, and survival rates over recent decades. Survivorship has increased, with 1 in 23 in Ireland now living beyond a cancer diagnosis [4]. Despite significant improvements in five-year survival rates, from 45–61% over the past decade, cancer continues to leave a lasting physical and psychological impact on individuals and their families [5]. Consequently, treatment objectives often focus on improving patients’ quality of life, managing symptoms, and psychosocial impacts [6], with little focus on nuclear family.
The impact of cancer on the immediate family members has received increased attention in recent years, focusing on family units [7], children [8], and siblings [9]. This impact extends beyond physical health effects [10]. Family routines, established roles, and responsibilities are frequently disrupted, as managing treatment regimens, attending frequent medical appointments, and coping with side effects take precedence, leaving little room for normalcy [11]. Moreover, a scoping review of the unmet needs of cancer survivors identified financial challenges as a major source of strain [12]. The high cost of treatment, combined with potential income loss due to reduced work capacity for both the patient and family caregiver, can create significant economic hardship [13]. Additionally, social dynamics may shift as patients and their families experience isolation [14], and reduced participation in social activities [15, 16]. While cancer survivorship research has yet to examine the impact of cancer on solely the male spouse of cancer patients, the impact of cancer on couple’s relationships and family relationships more generally has been explored in many studies. Research indicates that individuals typically seek support from their spouses first [17] before reaching out to other relatives, friends, or neighbours for additional assistance [18, 19]. The adjustment and changes brought about by a cancer diagnosis often ripple through intimate partnerships, significantly reshaping daily life, and influencing roles and responsibilities within these relationships. This shift frequently leads to a grieving process for couples, as they mourn the loss of their previous routines and sense of control, often withdrawing to re-establish their lives [20]. In some cases, this can result in withholding cancer-related stress or distress can exacerbate relational challenges, leading to emotional distance or dissatisfaction [21]. However, among 3,221 participants, 32.8% of male patients and 41.5% of female patients reported that the experience of cancer had strengthened their relationship with their partner [22]. On the other hand, sexuality and intimacy, which are both essential to overall quality of life [23], are often affected by cancer. Cancer can negatively impact a patient’s body image [24] and intimate relationships [25] affecting partners and spouses wellbeing and quality of life [26]. The interdependence in intimate relationships is central to dyadic functioning, with the mental and physical health of one partner often closely linked to the other [27].
Male partners and spouses of individuals with cancer often face unique challenges in seeking and receiving support, shaped by traditional gender norms and societal expectations. They may avoid seeking support due to stigma or a desire to maintain traditional perceptions of masculinity, viewing help-seeking as a sign of weakness [28]. Within society, constructs of femininity and masculinity are central to understanding gender differences in health behaviours and beliefs [29]. Men commonly display lower health promoting behaviours [30] and differ in mental health service use due to gendered attitudes towards seeking help and norms within society [31, 32]. These attitudes, coupled with societal norms, contribute to men’s reluctance to seek support formally and informally.
Partners are positioned in a unique position as they often take on the responsibility of informal caregiving [33], a shift marked by emotional, physical, and practical demands. Partners play an essential role in providing emotional and physical support to patients, often taking on tasks like managing household responsibilities, attending medical appointments, and offering comfort through challenging treatments [34]. However, many don’t identify with the term caregiver even though the support they provide encompasses informal caregiving [35], and so these individuals may become an underexplored population. A recent study revealed that 13% of participants who were carers, cared for their partner or spouse [36]. Given that this same study found that 90% of carers in Ireland are women, there seems to be a lack of male voices who may provide informal care. This disparity reflects societal norms that associate caregiving with women, often framing it as a feminine responsibility tied to nurturance and household tasks [37,38]. Women in the partner role are more likely than men to perceive negative changes in their relationship, suggesting potential gender differences in how relational experiences are affected during cancer caregiving [22].
Male caregivers frequently navigate these responsibilities while confronting unique challenges. Gender-specific attitudes often discourage male caregivers from prioritising their own well-being. Instead, they approached caregiving in ways aligned with traditional notions of masculinity, such as downplaying disruptions, concentrating on tasks, and internalising their stress [39], this way of being a caregiver is interpreted as being congruent with masculinity, meaning being the stronger person. However, this approach can obscure the emotional toll caregiving takes, as men are less likely to acknowledge or report stress and burden, also facing weak support networks [40]. In light of the above, it is clear that there is a gap in the literature in relation to the experiences of male intimate partners and spouses. Studies have highlighted the emotional, relational, and social challenges faced by family members in response to a loved one’s cancer diagnosis, yet the distinct ways in which male partners navigate these challenges, particularly in the context of masculinity, help-seeking behaviours, and relationship dynamics, remain underexplored. While some research has examined the impact of cancer on different family members, or couples as a unit, there is a gap in understanding the specific psychological and emotional toll on male partners as individuals.
This study will aim to explore:
i)
how male intimate partners and spouses engage with support, in terms of seeking, receiving, and providing it?
ii)
their experiences with relationship roles and dynamics, and
iii)
how they navigate life after their partner or spouse’s diagnosis.
We hope that the findings from this study may hold relevance for the development of future interventions aimed at addressing the mental health and support needs of male intimate partners and spouses of cancer patients. Research into the impacts of cancer on spouses could be useful in an array of ways. The findings of the present study could also identify needs of spouses that are unmet. Exploring how male partners engage with support, whether through seeking, receiving, or providing it, can highlight gaps in existing services and inform more gender-sensitive approaches to familial and caregiving support. Assessing experiences of male spouses of cancer patients would allow for the development of gender sensitive and effective interventions and support groups to address their psychological and emotional difficulties. In a similar manner, the present study is aiming to determine what psychological and emotional challenges are present among siblings in which an intervention could facilitate emotional support and improve dyadic coping as identified by Baik & Adams [41].
METHODOLOGY
Design & Methods
This study employed a qualitative design as the diagnosis and treatment of cancer can have profound impacts on patients and their partners. A qualitative approach was chosen for its suitability in capturing the nuanced and subjective nature of participants' lived experiences [42].
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Semi-structured interviews provided participants with the opportunity to share their stories in a flexible way. Likewise, qualitative research is well-positioned to explore the future needs of participants or patients, as its exploratory and inductive approach makes it particularly effective for investigating potential impacts.[43]. Given the potential to evoke emotional reactions when discussing certain topics, interviews were considered more appropriate than focus groups, as they allow for a more private and sensitive exploration of personal experiences [44].
Participants & Recruitment
Participants were recruited based on a set of inclusion and exclusion criteria. This study included male intimate spouses of individuals diagnosed with cancer within the past ten years. This timeframe ensured the inclusion of those whose partners had long cancer trajectories (e.g. >8 years), while also ensuring that the experiences were relatively recent, enabling spouses to recall them more accurately and ensuring greater relevance to current services and practices.
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Participants were required to be 18 years or older, fluent in English, and capable of providing informed consent. It was not a requirement to have been in a committed relationship at time of diagnosis, just at the time of interview. Exclusion criteria stipulated that participants must not have experienced a bereavement of a spouse due to cancer within the last six months, to avoid the emotional impact of recent bereavement on the study process. Participants were excluded if they were non-fluent English speakers. All participants resided in Ireland, reflecting the study’s geographical scope.
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The first author sent an email to cancer organizations including Purple House, Carers Alliance Ireland, the Irish Society Gynaecological Oncology Public and Patient Involvement Group, and Cancer Care West. This email included a brief description of the study; the recruitment notice and contact details for the first author. These organisations shared or displayed the study’s recruitment poster to their networks. Additional recruitment occurred through posts on LinkedIn and Instagram, and an advertisement on Facebook. Social media recruitment provided access to groups and individuals who are often difficult to reach [43]. Current and former professors at DCU helped spread awareness about the study within their academic and professional networks. Interested parties contacted the first author via email.
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They were then sent the plain language statement and consent form to complete an interview only.
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Participants' email address and contact information were only used for scheduling interviews.
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Online interviews involved a typed signature on the consent form, avoiding the collection of personal signatures, while physical consent forms required a written signature.
Data Collection
Data collection involved interviews conducted in a neutral venue (e.g., quiet hotel cafe) or online via Zoom. Four
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interviews were conducted face to face and five interviews were conducted online. Interview durations ranged from 35 minutes to 1 hour and 15 minutes, with an average length of 44 minutes.
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Participants could provide consent in advance by signing and returning an online consent form via email for virtual interviews, or by signing a physical form at the time of the face-to-face interview. The first author adhered to risk protocol to manage any participant or researcher distress. The equipment used included an iPhone 14 (iOS 18.3.2), a Samsung Galaxy Book Pro (Windows 11), and a pen and paper for note taking. After each interview, audio recordings were transferred to a password-protected Google Drive, and original recordings were deleted from the recording device. To establish rapport and reduce potential discomfort, a brief, informal conversation preceded each interview. Participants were reminded they could withdraw from the study at any time without providing a reason, withdraw their data up until the thesis submission deadline, and also skip any questions. The interview followed a schedule that was specifically developed for the current study by the first author [See Supplementary File 1] and refined through feedback and revisions from the second author, whose extensive background in psycho-oncology research contributed to enhancing the depth and relevance of the questions.
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Participants were also asked to provide their demographic and clinical details at the start of the interview.
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Post interview, participants were reminded of the support information in the plain language statement in case any emotional distress arises as a result of the discussion.
Data Analysis
The research team analysed the data for content relating to the impacts of cancer on participants' lives. Thematic analysis was used, guided by Braun and Clarke’s framework [44]. Thematic analysis was chosen for its flexibility and suitability for exploring nuanced experiences [45]. This approach facilitated the organisation, identification, and interpretation of patterns within the data, enabling the connection of findings and comparison across participants. This involved 1) familiarisation with the data; 2) transcribing verbatim and subsequent anonymisation; 3) coding; 4) identifying emerging themes; 5) linking thematic material to coded data; 6) reviewing, defining, and naming the themes to ensure they accurately captured participants' experiences; 7) writing up the results. More than 7 hours of audio data was transcribed. Throughout the research process participant anonymity and confidentiality were prioritised. Thus, identifying information was removed from the interview transcripts through pseudonymisation, ensuring personal details were given non-identifiable replacements. While the transcripts were not fully anonymised at the point of pseudonymisation due to the presence of audio recordings, upon deletion of the audio files full anonymity will be achieved.
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Data retention complied with ethical guidelines, allowed for secure storage of the audio files for up to five years for publication purposes. The initial step was descriptive coding, followed by “coding the codes”. This involved linking and merging different codes to create more interpretive connections. Themes were identified, defined, and refined, with participant quotations used to illustrate these themes. To enhance credibility, the second author was involved in every stage of the process, ensuring the accuracy of themes and quotes, considering the sample and drawing on their own knowledge in the field, as per Lincoln & Guba’s [46] criteria for credibility. NVivo was used to aid the process of thematic analysis, with the addition of Word to help visualise code arrangement.
Reflexivity
As the first author has personal experience with several close family and friends being diagnosed with cancer, she took steps to mitigate the risk of potential biases. In addition, the second author reviewed the list of potential interview questions that were shared with participants prior to their interviews. Regarding data analysis, the second author oversaw all stages, including transcription, initial and subsequent coding, and the final development of themes. Similarly, an extensive literature review was conducted and a reflexive journal was kept during the data collection process which documented personal reflections, and potential biases. Additionally, the first author’s position as both the first author and interviewer may have influenced participants' responses, as they may have felt compelled to provide socially desirable answers [47, 48]. Efforts were made to mitigate potential bias by maintaining clear boundaries and ensuring a non-judgmental, open atmosphere during interviews and throughout the research process the first author maintained a professional and neutral stance.
RESULTS
The first author conducted nine interviews, with participants ranging in age from 30 to 72. Detailed demographic characteristics are provided in Table 1. Pseudonyms have been assigned to participants to ensure confidentiality and anonymity.
Table 1
Participant demographic characteristics.
ID
Relationship
Cancer Type
Initial Diagnosis
Bereaved/Alive
Darragh
Spouse
Ovarian Cancer
2024
Alive
Eoghan
Spouse
Breast Cancer
2024
Alive
Harry
Spouse
Breast Cancer
2014
Alive
John
Spouse
Thyroid Cancer
2022
Alive
Kevin
Spouse
Vaginal Cancer
2019
Bereaved
Liam
Spouse
Blood Cancer
2014
Alive
Luke
Spouse
Ovarian Cancer
2023
Bereaved
Paul
Spouse
Ovarian Cancer
2022
Alive
Sean
Spouse
Spinal Cancer
2021
Alive
Note. all IDs provided are pseudonyms.
The present study identified six themes; challenges during and beyond the diagnosis, complexities of communication for men, diverse support system experiences, experiences of the medical system, meaning making through advocacy and volunteering, and reshaping relationship dynamics, relating to the impact of cancer, see Table 2 for further details.
Table 2
Research aims linked to extracted themes.
Research Aims
Theme
Understanding how participants engage with support, in terms of seeking, receiving, and providing it.
● Diverse Support System Experiences
● Experiences of the Medical System
Exploring the ways participants encounter relationship dynamics and roles.
● Reshaping Relationship Dynamics.
Understanding how participants experience and navigate life shaped by cancer.
● Challenges During and Beyond the Diagnosis.
● Complexities of Communication for Men
● Meaning Making Through Advocacy and Volunteering
In the following text, ellipses in square brackets indicate contracted quotations and additional contextual information has been provided in square brackets where necessary.
1.
“We’ve been through a lot and the cancer is probably one of the worst journeys that we had to face together”: Reshaping Relationship Dynamics.
For many participants, the experience of cancer deepened their connection with their spouse, strengthening their relationship. The new awareness of life’s fragility led to a shift in priorities, fostering a greater appreciation for their time together. Paul reflected:
It would’ve deepened what we already had and it reinforced the jeopardy of it, that Dawn [wife] might not have long to live, that’s obviously going to make you really think things through and think what are we going to do with this time? It’s going to be a lot shorter than we thought it was going to be.
In terms of spousal support, participants described the various ways in which they provided support to their wives throughout the cancer journey, with practical and advocacy roles. Harry recalled:
I said to her [wife] “look, mention it to them [surgical team]”, tell him [surgeon] you’re not happy with it and see what happens and she kept saying she “didn’t really want to bother him about it” [...] We were there one time, […] and I said it to him, I said “look Lisa [wife] is quite concerned about this.
However, the most common form of support expressed was emotional support, being a steady presence, and a listener. As John explained:
But then there’s kind of like the emotional elements as well, like being the person that she can talk to about it to […]. So, I had to be her ear as well and I think that was just as important, to have someone to talk about her fears, and what might happen.
Participants also acknowledged their role during their wife’s cancer. For instance, some speakers also described their role as a source of reassurance for their wife, Paul described:
I’m the positive thinking one, until I know otherwise, until I’m told otherwise, I’m going to assume the best outcome. She [wife] leans on that, and that’s very much part of my role, she tells me “I need you to tell me I’m going to be ok” and I always do, like I say until I hear otherwise.
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While participants expressed a deep commitment to providing spousal support, they also reflected on the emotional toll and relationship dynamic involved in witnessing their wives transition from independent to needing assistance. Darragh described how this affected him:
I’ve no problem doing things for her but Monika [wife] is so independent […] 18 she likes to do things herself and I know how much that affects her and so it affects me. So, we’ve had to adjust to almost, like me as a caregiver, that’s exactly what it is.
Similarly, in supporting their wife, some participants mentioned the experience of shaving their wife’s head. It was described by several participants as an emotionally challenging moment, As Kevin shared, “I remember it broke my heart, the hardest thing I had to do I think over all that time was shave her [wife’s] head and take her identity away from her.”
For many participants, their wife’s cancer diagnosis brought upon additional daily responsibilities, leading to an
expanded role. These additions were often described as necessary. John described:
I did everything post-surgery. […] During that time, I would be doing everything, I’d be in charge of walking the dog, and looking after the dog, I’d be in charge of the cooking, the cleaning, everything basically.
2.
“I feel like it’s still always at the back of my mind”: Challenges During and Beyond the Diagnosis.
Emotional challenges
All participants described the challenges that occurred in their life since their wife’s diagnosis. In terms of the struggles emotionally, participants primarily identified an emotional toll of cancer’s initial and continued uncertainty. For example, Sean described, “It was a rollercoaster that you didn’t know where it was going or when it was going to end.”
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As well as this, participants expressed a lingering emotional effect. Even in moments of 19 apparent stability, worries about the future persisted. For instance, John expressed:
My mind still does go to “Will she get a check-up next year?”, and they’ll be like, “Oh, somethings not right here”. So, there’s always those things. It’s as good as it can be right now but, there’s still always that, like doing the radiotherapy increases your chances of other cancers
Loss and grief were also emotional experiences conveyed by several participants, both in the form of anticipated and lived grief. Luke illustrated this sentiment, sharing, “This period [grieving period] is far harder than during the cancer experience, because you were fighting every day for the life that was there in Jackie [wife]. And when it went, you're then alone.”
Practical challenges
Another element of cancer which participants noted was the financial component, many participants described
the financial burden of their wife’s illness. As Liam noted, “The big impact was that she, at one stage, had fourteen consultants that she had to visit to deal with all the aspects.”
While many participants described the financial strain caused by cancer, two participants highlighted their financial privilege that allowed them to manage the situation financially. John noted gratitude for his ability to cover expenses without concern:
I was lucky that we could basically say “let’s pay for whatever we need to pay for to take things off our plate” [..] I think that’s what we had to do to cope was just take as much off our plate as we possibly could.
In terms of lifestyle, participants identified disruptions in various areas of their lives in home, social, travel, and
work settings. For the majority of participants, there was a shift to more limited engagements. Sean felt that:
Maggie’s [wife] world has gotten smaller, forced by the cancer, and my horizons, my world and my ambitions have become smaller as well.
Participants also acknowledged changes socially because of their wife’s cancer. Harry explained: “With the treatment that was going on Lisa [wife] would be tired. So, you’re constantly not going to many places.”
In terms of travelling, many participants noted limitations. Paul identified certain plans being put on hold:
We’d always planned to travel a lot, that was another thing that cancer got in the way of. I had retired and we’d these ideas of going and living somewhere like Valencia or Barcelona over the winter and renting out our house in Dublin, now we still might do that but that’s on hold.
3.
“It’s all pointing towards the patient”: Experiences of the Medical System
Although participants noted some positive experiences within the medical system, frustration and disappointment were evident. Several participants felt as though medical professionals added to their difficulty dealing with their wife’s cancer as some reflected on what they felt was inadequacy, and a lack of human interaction. Darragh felt that, “The doctors and nurses in the hospital, they leave so much off the table, just the human interaction isn’t great. So, you have to seek help somewhere.”
Others expressed annoyance at the handling of their wife’s cancer care. As Sean described:
It was a shock not from the point of view that she had cancer because we knew 21 something was seriously wrong. Unfortunately, we were the only ones who seemed to know that something serious was wrong. As I said, she wasn’t taken seriously by doctors or nurses […] The people in hospitals did fail Maggie [wife], the medical and the hospital system failed her [..] She was let fall between the cracks.
Moreover, many described not receiving any support in the care process, as the focus was placed solely on the patient, with little recognition of the emotional and psychological toll on them as spouses. Liam mentioned, “I was never approached [with support] in the unit as a partner or spouse, nobody ever said it, so therefore it’s not something that’s very obvious, unless you went looking for it yourself.”
While participants acknowledged that prioritising the patient was understandable, they also emphasised that cancer is an experience shared within a couple, yet healthcare providers often failed to acknowledge this dynamic. As Kevin expressed:
Hospitals, specialists, they need to realise that there’s two people going through this. And not only two people, there’s still a wider family, but whatever happens here has a really big direct effect on two people.
4.
“I think it's very reassuring to know that you have people who are there if you need them”: Diverse Support System Experiences.
Participants expressed a range of perspectives on seeking help for their emotional and psychological well-being while supporting their wife through cancer. Some felt no need for professional support. For some, help-seeking was not considered necessary. Eoghan noted, “I didn't reach out to anyone for any professional help simply because I didn't think I needed it.”
Others noted that, as a man, they could deal with challenges faced by cancer themselves. Luke expressed this sentiment:
Quite frankly, I didn't need it. I was a man on a mission and nobody was going to say anything to me that was going to be any help to me because I was strong.
Some acknowledged the availability of formal support but accessing it would only be in moments of crisis. Paul described, “I just didn’t feel I needed it at the time, [..] it’d be if I reached a crisis point.”
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Participants who sought help had positive experiences, often facilitated by encouragement from loved ones, direct offers of support from professionals, familiarity with therapy or a prior relationship with a professional. John described:
I think because of my profession and my history with going to therapy, it didn’t feel like a burden or something that I was reluctant to do. I think one thing that really helped was having a prior relationship with the therapist.
Others reflected on needing some encouragement or for help to be offered to them, Darragh explained his experience:
The girl who was showing the video, she works with clinical trials and stuff, she works for Oncology Ireland and she offered me counselling through ARC Cancer Support [..] Monika [wife] wanted to push me into it but if the nurse hadn’t have gotten a hold of me that day I probably wouldn’t have went.
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Some participants described the initial sessions as particularly helpful in processing their emotions and navigating their wife’s illness. Kevin described, “I went for about a year of counselling after it [wife’s passing], I found the very first five or six months really good.”
For many, family support was a crucial factor in helping them cope. Harry reflected on the importance of informal support, stating:
It was nice to know people were there for you and were concerned about how things were going, with a strong family around us it made it a little bit easier.
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Despite this, a few participants expressed feelings of disappointment to a lack of support from close friends. Some noted that friends they had relied on withdrew or failed to provide emotional support.
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Participants described feeling sidelined in social circles, with friends either avoiding conversations about their struggles or disengaging altogether. Darragh shared his disappointment, explaining:
I would say I feel let down by loads of friends but I also feel that a lot of my friends came on board and helped, but I have to say 50% of the people I expected to help I haven’t heard from since.
5.
“I’m not inclined to discuss my deepest thoughts with people”: Complexities of Communication for Men.
Many participants expressed their avoidance and reluctance to disclose their emotional struggles to their wives linked to the cancer. As Kevin shared, “I didn’t tell her [wife] how bad I was feeling over all of it. [..] There was a lot going on, and I didn’t tell Rachel [wife] a lot.”
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Participants mentioned various reasons for this, some explained that they were simply not individuals who discussed their emotions. Sean explained “I’d be a typical 1960’s male Irishman, you know, talking about emotions and things like that wouldn’t be my forte.”
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Another factor highlighted was that participants were conscious of their wives' reactions and expressed not wanting to add to their emotional load. As John recounted:
I didn’t want to be the one being like you’re going through cancer so I’m really 24 worried, like look at the impact this is having on me. [..] Because I didn’t want to put any additional thought or burden on her.
Some participants explained a deliberate choice to ignore and avoid the effect cancer had, in order to maintain some form of functional existence. Sean recounted:
A lot of the time, you’re trying to live life as if it’s [cancer] not there because if you lived life with it in the forefront of your mind, you wouldn’t have a life, well it would be a life not worth living. So, I am actually ignoring it in order to get on with life, live the best life, to live any kind of reasonable life.
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In relation to communication outside of the relationship, many participants described how cancer-related discussions were often fraught with complexities, such as a lack of depth and the presence of inappropriate comments.
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Participants noted particular characteristics evident in communication with male friends, where conversations often remain surface-level, lacking emotional depth. As John explained:
I’ve lots of male friends, and I [sigh], I wouldn’t speak about this, even as candidly as this, to the extent that we’re speaking about it now with them. I’ve never spoken to this extent with a lot of my male friends.
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The dynamics of male friendships, as described by several participants, often involve keeping things cheerful, highlighting that, while serious topics like cancer are not necessarily being consciously avoided, the nature of male friendships often centres around shared enjoyment and lighter interactions. As Eoghan pointed out, “It's generally light-hearted stuff, and it's not that we don't, that we're trying to avoid anything that's serious, but we try and keep it on the enjoyable front.”
6.
“It's trying to look at a woman's cancer from the perspective of the man and what men should be doing to assist”: Meaning Making through Advocacy and Volunteering.
For some participants, their experience of supporting a partner through cancer extended beyond, leading them to take on new roles in advocacy and volunteering. Paul reflected on how advocacy had become a part of his life, stating:
She’s [wife] very conscious of raising awareness and she puts a lot of time and effort into that and I’m there with her, supporting her, so that’s become a major part of our lives since.
Others engaged in public discourse, using social media as a way to campaign and advocate for women’s cancers. Luke explained:
That is one of the key things, early diagnosis, which I'm campaigning for, which I think is so important. So, that's not really for me, it did affect me because, if she had been diagnosed earlier, her chances of survival or longer survival would have been so much better.
Two participants have become involved with the Irish Cancer Society as a result, Kevin described the impact of connecting with others in similar situations through his volunteering:
I find that it’s very therapeutic to go from things up and down, these peaks and troughs. It gives you a different outlook on life, changes your perspective, that there are people going through similar things, and they are able to talk about things, they’re not shy about it, they want to.
DISCUSSION
To the authors’ knowledge, this is the first study to explicitly examine solely male intimate spouses and the impact of cancer in relation to support and relationships. The findings indicate that this cohort are impacted both positively and negatively by their partner or spouses’ cancer. Six themes emerged: challenges during and beyond the diagnosis, complexities of communication for men, diverse support system experiences, experiences of the medical system, meaning making through advocacy and volunteering, and reshaping relationship dynamics.
The findings underscore the notable shifts intimate spouses experienced, aligning with research indicating that partners often assume new roles when faced with their spouse’s cancer diagnosis [11]. Participants described their evolving roles as caregivers, advocates, and sources of emotional reassurance, highlighting a newfound sense of responsibility and support. Most participants took on responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, and managing daily tasks, but rather than struggling with these adjustments, they adapted relatively well. However, the more profound challenge lay in witnessing their wife’s loss of independence. Many participants described the emotional difficulty of balancing their role as a caregiver with their desire to preserve their wife’s autonomy. This tension reinforced feelings of helplessness, a response that has been identified in cancer patients [49].
A
The act of caregiving, particularly in intimate moments such as shaving their wife’s head, was both an expression of devotion and a source of emotional distress. This is particularly relevant in the context of traditional masculinity norms, which emphasize independence and problem-solving, potentially exacerbating feelings of powerlessness. For many women, hair is deeply tied to identity, femininity, and self-esteem, and its loss due to chemotherapy can be profoundly distressing [50, 51]. Unlike men, for whom baldness is more socially accepted and see it as a normal and inevitable consequence of treatment [52]. Despite these challenges, many participants reported that cancer strengthened their emotional connection with their spouse, mirroring findings from research on female partners of cancer patients [22].
Many participants adhered to traditional masculine norms, emphasising self-reliance and emotional restraint, aligning with existing research on male help-seeking behaviours [53]. Psychological support was viewed as unnecessary unless a crisis point was reached [54, 28], reflecting broader patterns in men’s mental health, where engagement with psychological services is often reactive rather than proactive [55]. Men traditionally are seen as more reluctant to engage with conventional health services compared to women [56].
Conversely, those who engaged in therapy reported positive experiences, often facilitated by prior familiarity with psychological services or encouragement from loved ones or healthcare professionals. These outcomes echo that one of the strongest facilitators for male help seeking behaviour is encouragement and support from spouses and family members [57]. This highlights the importance of practices that actively engage family and healthcare providers in encouraging male partners to seek psychological support before reaching a point of crisis.
Informal support systems, particularly family, played a crucial role in providing both practical assistance and emotional support. This is similar to the finding in Arab spouses of breast cancer patients, who relied primarily on family and friends for support [58]. However, some expressed disappointment when expected support from friends did not materialise, suggesting a discrepancy between anticipated and actual social support. This underscores a potential unmet need in male informal support structures.
Many participants hesitated to disclose their feelings to their spouses, driven by concerns about burdening them, which aligns with research on other-oriented coping strategies in men [59], an approach where individuals prioritise the emotional well-being of others over their own. This may also be due to deeply ingrained social and personal beliefs about emotional expression, aligning with research on traditional masculinity norms, which often discourage vulnerability and emphasise emotional stoicism [31, 32]. Beyond confirming existing findings, the present study highlights a potential gap in how psychological support services address male partners’ unique emotional barriers. While avoidance and emotional suppression are well-documented coping mechanisms in men facing stress, such as those with prostate cancer [60]), the emotional labour required in caregiving, where men must balance providing support while withholding their own distress, adds another layer of complexity that is often overlooked in mental health interventions. These findings suggest that support services may need to account not only for men’s reluctance to seek help but also for the nuanced ways they manage emotional strain within relationships. Developing interventions that provide men with strategies to navigate emotional disclosure without feeling as though they are compromising their role as a supporter could be crucial in improving psychological well-being for both partners.
Outside of their romantic relationships, participants highlighted difficulties in discussing cancer related emotional struggles with male friends. Conversations tended to remain brief and surface-level, lacking emotional depth. Previous findings suggest male friendships often revolve around shared activities rather than direct emotional support [61]. While these friendships provide companionship, they may not offer the emotional outlet needed during times of distress. Given these findings, there is a clear need for interventions tailored to the unique challenges male partners face. The emotional suppression, issues with informal support networks, and difficulty accessing psychological resources point to a gap in existing support systems. Greater recognition of male spouses in both research and practice is crucial to ensuring that their psychological needs are acknowledged and adequately addressed.
Beyond this, participants faced enduring emotional and practical struggles. The uncertainty of cancer in relation to prognosis, trajectory, and recurrence emerged as having a negative psychological impact. This is similar to a study in which one of the main challenges for cancer caregivers identified was coping with emotional challenges and uncertainty [62]. Even when their wife’s condition appeared stable, anxiety around scans and recurrence persisted, highlighting the chronic stress associated with being a spouse. This is important as fear of cancer recurrence experience by spouses plays a crucial role in the formation of cancer survivors’ fear of cancer recurrence [63]. Financial burden was another significant challenge, with many highlighting the high costs of consultations, treatments, and care needs. However, some acknowledged financial privilege as a mitigating factor. In the Irish context, financial challenges have been identified as a major source of strain, with financial hardship, noted as an unmet need of cancer survivors [12]. Cancer’s impact extended to daily life, disrupting social activities, career aspirations, and travel plans. The limitations socially imposed by illness led to a shrinking world for both patient and partner, underscoring the far-reaching consequences of a cancer diagnosis [15, 16]. Spouses also described challenges in struggling emotionally themselves while providing emotional support during the cancer trajectory. This is reflected in the findings in cancer caregiver literature [64].
The experiences shared by participants highlight a complex relationship with the medical system, marked by both appreciation and frustration. While hospice care and nursing support were largely appreciated, the broader hospital experience often left participants feeling overlooked and unsupported. This finding mirrors that of Yıldız & Hiçdurmaz [64], with spouses feeling like an overlooked group. Speakers expressed frustration with a perceived lack of human connection from medical professionals. The most recent Irish cancer strategy made several recommendations, which have been implemented since, in relation to psychological support for patients and their families [5]. Similarly, the psycho-oncological model of care acknowledged the importance of psychosocial support for family members with the recommendation as follows, to “Recognise the psychological and social impact of a cancer diagnosis on family members and carers.” [65]. And so, there are services that exist that male spouses can avail of but the findings highlight that some participants had no knowledge of their existence. This suggests a need for better signposting and integration of spousal support in cancer care, to recognise the shared nature of a partner's cancer experience.
A novel finding was that several spouses found meaning through advocacy and volunteering, viewing these activities as a positive and purposeful response to their experiences. Participants described how supporting their wives through cancer extended beyond the immediate supportive role, leading them to engage in raising awareness, campaigning, or volunteering with a cancer organisation. This aligns with research on post-traumatic growth, which suggests that individuals often find new meaning and direction following adversity [66]. For some, advocacy was a shared endeavour with their spouse, reinforcing a sense of partnership. Others described taking independent action, using their personal experiences to advocate for improvements in cancer care, particularly regarding early detection and grief. Given that existing research primarily explores self-advocacy in cancer patients [67], the engagement of spouses in advocacy remains under examined. However, this seems to link to the construct of meaning-making [68], which focuses on the role that meaning has in a person’s adjustment to stressful life. In cancer patients and survivor’s self-advocacy empowers them to develop a strong self-concept, maintaining a sense of control and ability to adapt to life with cancer [69]. Volunteering was also described as therapeutic, providing an emotional outlet and a sense of connection with others in similar situations. In this way, volunteering not only provided male participants with an experience to connect with others who understand what they’re going through but also exposed them to different approaches to emotional expression, reflecting the less frequently acknowledged benefits of volunteering for a volunteers mental and physical health [70].
Implications
The current findings have significant implications for clinical practice, cancer organisations, and intervention strategies. Participant perspectives highlight the need for healthcare professionals to be more attuned to the needs of intimate partners and spouses, ensuring they receive adequate psychological support and are integrated into the cancer care process. To achieve this, health services and cancer support organisations must not only provide these resources but also effectively communicate their availability and ensure their suitability for all genders. Healthcare professionals could draw on existing guidelines, like the TRIO Framework [71] to guide practice and develop programs to understand the needs in an Irish context. Psychosocial interventions should address gender specific help-seeking barriers, potentially through peer support models or reframing emotional support in ways that align with masculine identities.
This study adds to the understanding of how gender influences men’s help-seeking and so informs the development of effective promotion strategies that may resonate with them. This study contributes to our understanding of how gender shapes health practices and emphasizes the importance of developing health promotion strategies that resonate with men. For instance, the Men's Shed concept [72] provides a communal space where men can engage in practical activities, socialise, and support one another but has not been explored in the male partner context of cancer. Research suggests that key aspects of Shed participation like developing and applying new skills, fostering a sense of belonging, offering and receiving peer support, and contributing to the community play a significant role in enhancing men’s overall well-being [73]. Moreover, there are evidenced benefits of shed participation on self-rated health, social isolation, and well-being [74]. Given the findings of this study, it is recommended that cancer support services consider integrating a similar approach tailored specifically to male intimate partners of cancer patients. This could provide them with a supportive environment to discuss their experiences, share challenges, and receive peer support, while breaking down the barriers to mental health care often faced by men.
Nonetheless, the findings also encourage the development of new strategies. The study highlights the potential benefits of volunteering as a response to a spouse’s cancer. By involving partners and spouses in meaningful volunteer work, initiatives can enhance their well-being while creating opportunities for connection with others in similar situations while contributing positively to the community. Overall, these findings suggest that while men may be hesitant to seek formal psychological support, targeted interventions could bridge the gap. Additionally, recognising and addressing shifts in social relationships may help mitigate feelings of isolation and enhance support structures for male partners of cancer patients.
The findings of this study also have important implications for cancer patients themselves. Ensuring that male spouses who take on new responsibilities are supported is essential, not only for their own mental health and well-being but also to help them provide meaningful emotional support and care to their partners, such as maintaining optimism and hope [75].
Strengths & Limitations
There are several strengths to consider in light of the findings from this research. A key strength is the research’s novelty, as it is the first study to explore the impact of cancer in this nature on solely male intimate spouses. Another strength was the range of cancers across the spouses (breast, blood, ovarian, thyroid, and vaginal tumours), adding to the diversity of the findings. However, there are limitations to this study. The sample size of 9 participants may be considered relatively small for a study of this nature. However, the first author made a concerted effort to obtain ethical approval early, allowing for a recruitment period of three months. Recruiting male partners and spouses proved to be particularly challenging, given the difficulty in accessing this population. Additionally, two of the nine participants had bereaved spouses, meaning that bereavement and grief emerged, rather than solely on the impact of cancer. Bereaved individuals often face more complex and challenging needs, particularly when the illness progresses rapidly. Nonetheless, their experiences provide valuable insight into the long-term impact of cancer. The participants were all white, heterosexual, married or widowed men. As a result, the interviewees' responses and, consequently, my analyses do not represent a diverse range of ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, or relationship statuses.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the present study identified six main themes relating to the impact of cancer on intimate partners and spouses: challenges during and beyond the diagnosis, complexities of communication for men, diverse support system experiences, experiences of the medical system, meaning making through advocacy and volunteering, and reshaping relationship dynamics. This study emphasizes the need for more targeted interventions and support services for male intimate partners and spouses of cancer patients, who often face unique emotional and practical challenges. Future research should focus on exploring how support models, such as peer support or Men's Shed programs, could be tailored to this cohort to help overcome barriers to psychological support and encourage emotional expression. It is also crucial to integrate these men more effectively into the cancer care process by better signposting available resources and creating gender-sensitive interventions that align with masculine identities. Furthermore, fostering opportunities for male partners to engage in meaningful volunteer work, as a form of advocacy and meaning-making, may help to address their emotional needs while enhancing their sense of connection and purpose. Lastly, future studies should explore how relationship dynamics, caregiving roles, and communication strategies can be better supported in order to improve the well-being of both male partners and their spouses throughout the cancer journey.
ETHICS APPROVAL
A
Procedures and practices carried out as part of the present research were at all times in line with the ethical standards of the pertinent institutional research ethics committees and the 1964 Helsinki declaration and its later amendments.
A
The approval for the study was received from the Psychology Research Ethics Committee, Dublin City University (DCUPEC_ DCUPEC_2025_101).
CONSENT TO PARTICIPATE
A
Written informed consent for participation was obtained from all participants prior to participation in this research to complete an interview and for their personal or clinical details to be included in the published manuscript.
CONSENT FOR PUBLICATION
Informed consent regarding the potential publication of pseudonymised data in an academic journal was obtained from participants prior to participation in this research.
A
Data Availability
Microsoft Word documents representing the thematic analysis at different coding stages may be requested from the first author.
A
Author Contribution
V.S.: Conceptualization, Data curation and design, data analysis and interpretation, original manuscript preparation, writing, review and editing. S.D.: Conceptualization, Data curation and design, supervision, interpretation, manuscript review and editing
Electronic Supplementary Material
Below is the link to the electronic supplementary material
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Total Reference count: 74